Paddy and the ass


Young Pat Molloy’s an Irish boy, he left sweet County Clare
Says he, ‘I’ll go to London to see the wonders there
Sure I’ve often heard that London was a very pretty place
So bedad says he, I’ll go and see it that’s the blooming case

Pat shook hands with all the lads and and he kissed his colleen dear
He left the sod, he did begod, and he never shed a tear
Says he ‘Me lads, I’ll know the road if ever I am sent
Up to that mighty place they call the House of Parliament’

When Pat arrived in London, he was taken by surprise
For the size of that great city fairly dazzled Paddy’s eyes
While dodging on quite easily, meditating to himself
He met a ragged Cockney with a donkey, selling delph

Now this ragged ill-bred cockney wouldn’t let poor Paddy pass
Saying ‘Come and speak to your brother’ while he pointed to the ass
‘Well bedad’ says Pat ‘I never knew that I had a brother here’
And with that, he stooped and whispered into the donkey’s ear

When Pat was speaking to ass, now boys what did he do?
He spat the tobacco juice in his ear, he did bedads ’tis true
The ass went mad, upset the cart, smashed all the earthenware
And bejapers boys, the Cockney, he went crazy on the square

Now he shouted for a policeman to take poor Pat in charge
Saying ‘Sieze this Irish vagabond, for he shouldn’t be at large’
‘Begone you English spailpĂ­n’ cries Paddy with a smile
‘For you took me to be an ass because I come from Erin’s Isle’

Before the magistrate, poor Pat, he had to stand next day
To account all for his crime, he asked what he’d to say
‘Bedad’ says Pat, ‘I’m charged with more than ever I did
I just spoke to my brother and I did what I was bid’

‘Well now’ said the magistrate, ‘don’t you know that the ass went mad’
‘Well indeed I do’ says Paddy ‘and I’m sorry too bedad’
‘Be careful’ cries the magistrate, ‘we’ll have no nonsense here
Just come and tell me every word you whispered in his ear’

‘Well indeed I will’ says Paddy, ‘that request I can’t refuse
For I’d often heard that donkeys, they were very fond of news
I thought I might say something this ‘oul donkey’s heart to cheer
And now I’ll tell you every word that I whispered in his ear’

‘Well, I told the ass’ says Paddy, ‘that we had our wrongs redressed
That noble wealthy Irishmen were no longer oppressed
We got rid of all the landlords, Ireland to ourselves we had
And when the donkey heard the news, be Jesus he went mad’

To hide his face the magistrate, he had to stoop his head
For he couldn’t stop from laughing when he heard what Paddy said
‘Good luck to you bold Pat’ says he, ‘a clever rogue you are
And for your clever answer, I’ll dismiss you from the bar’


Song Clip