Waterford Boys


For fun and diversion we have met together
I tell you from Waterford hither we came
We crossed the big ocean in dark stormy weather
Our pockets were light and our hearts were the same
Sad at leaving old Ireland, we’re once more on dry land
By the roadside, a tavern I chanced for to spy
And as I was melting, my pockets I felt in
For the price of a drink, I was mortally dry

For we are the boys of such fun and such eloquence
Drinking and dancing and all other joys
For ructions, destructions, diversions and devilment
Who’s to compare with the Waterford Boys

In the tavern I rolled, in the landlord, he strolled
And good morrow, says he and says I, if you please
Will you give me a bed and then bring me some bread
And a bottle of porter and a small piece of cheese
My bread and cheese ended, I then condescended
To take my repose, sure I bade them good-night
When under the clothes, I was trying to doze
First I stuck in my toes and then popped out the light

Well, I wasn’t long sleeping when I heard something creeping
And knawing and chawing around the bed post
My breath, I suspended, but the noise never ended
Thinks I, you have damnable claws for a ghost
Now to make myself easy, for I felt rather lazy
Well over my head, I again pulled the clothes
When Moses what’s that, sure a great big jack-rat
With one leap from the floor, he jumped right up to my nose

Well, I reached for a hobnail and made up a bobtail
And wrestled with rats to the clear light of day
When the landlord came in and he said with a grin
For your supper and bed, you’ve five shillings to pay
Five shillings for what, now don’t be disgracing yourself
Says I, to the rogue if you please
When I can sleep with these rats, you’ve the devils own face on you,
To charge me five shillings for dry bread and cheese

Oh, the landlord went raring and lifting and tearing
He jumped through the window and he kicked in the door
When he could go no further, he wrote me a murder
These rats, they are eating me up by the store
Sure they sleep in my stable, they eat from my table
They’ve wrestled my dogs and they’ve killed all my cats
Truth then says I just give me those five shillings
And I’ll tell you a way to get rid of the rats.

I will then, said he, well invite them to supper
And dry bread and cheese lay before them for sure
Never mind if they’re willing, but charge them five shilling
And devil the rats you will never see more